May 23, 2022 – A true Funny story

My wife has a friend whom she worked with for many years who loved to camp with her husband and family.

One interesting thing about her husband was that he had created an imaginary family that camped with them. He would write stories about what they had done together on their camping trips on his computer and tell a few very close friends, but not many. This was before the internet.

Once I heard this story from my wife, I knew I had something to work with in regards to this situation and might end up having some innocent fun.

I ended up writing the husband of my wife’s friend an email from his imaginary friend. The story that I wrote is down below.

The Fishing Trip

Hello Chuck, nice work getting home in one piece last night. That was a real blast at the bowling alley. I can’t believe all the beer that you drank. You are a pro at that, no doubt.

I did forget to tell you one thing however. Well, I tried to tell you about it last night but you were pretty busy pestering that waitress again and slamming those beers down. I just hope she doesn’t tell her husband or call your wife. I know you like living on the edge Chuck, but one of these days your butt ‘s going get caught in the ringer.

So anyway Chuck, Alex and I went to our secret fishing hole last weekend.

You know Alex, he’s the one that you said was as dumb as dirt and just useless around the factory. He is doing better at the moment after his accident. I know you told me never to take anyone there, but he has been pestering me for sometime at work about it and I finally gave in. You know he cut his finger off, don’t you? I think I told you that a few weeks ago at Murphy’s.

Anyway I felt sorry for him and what’s left of his finger is working pretty good at the moment so I broke down and took him fishing with me. He was thrilled to death. You’re right by the way. He isn’t the brightest guy in the shop.

He said he could put his own bait on his hook, so off we went. I told him that I was no nursemaid and that my doctoring skills were limited to to offering alcohol and bandaids.

He agreed to those conditions before the long drive out across the Mojave Desert. Nothing worse than a spoil sport on a long drive who ends up sulking all the way to the destination.

Remember Alex? Yeah, he was like that before you straightened him out. How long was that walk after you left him on the side of the road out there on that fishing trip last summer? Ten Miles? I know it seemed like it to him. He had no idea we were just out of site and keeping tabs on him as he tried to walk across the desert. That was some real fun.

Well by the way, he says hi. Yes he’s still on that old drill press at work. All the guys miss you since you left. Well, most of them anyway.

So we drove half the night across the desert and found what I thought was the land mark for the fishing hole after some flashlight work and crawling around in the desert brush. I have the scratches to prove that by the way.

My wife was a little concerned about them at first when we got home, but Alex backed up my story and I finally was able to sleep in the bedroom again. I don’t know how you do what you do. My thought I might have been chasing again, like you, but Alex showed her the fish and that seemed to settle her down some.

I didn’t remember having to climb over a tall chainlink fence with the razor wire the last time we were out there, but it’s there now. I didn’t have a ladder, but I had my tool kit with me, as always.

We cut through the bottom of the fence with no problem and crawled through. The walk down to the water seemed longer and steeper than last year but I’m older now and that must be why it seemed like that.

Anyway, we settled in and had a grand time.

We started a fire and set up camp.

Alex must run in the same circles as you I guess as he had an ample supply of beer close at hand in his trusty cooler. I had a few sodas as I knew I would end up driving home and didn’t want another run in with the powers that be.

We caught a good bunch of fine catfish and a trout or two and then were about to leave when we saw it.

Chuck, I have never seen such a thing.

It was a large, flat and round and silent with a blue glow as it hovered high above us. I felt like it knew we were there and that it was watching us. What the hell it was is still a mystery to me, but that isn’t the worst part.

Alex got caught is some kind of ray or beam as we were leaving and he hasn’t been the same since. He seems to have completely changed. He has developed a personality and knows all the statistics regarding the American and National Baseball Leagues.

I almost left him out in the middle of the desert. He just wouldn’t shut up.

When I first saw the thing I knew we were in trouble. I gathered my gear up and told Alex to do the same. We were on the move in five minutes and left nothing behind except for a few beer and soda cans. Now that I think about it I guess that was our first mistake.

That beam hit poor old Alex just as we dove for the hole in the fence.

We got the hell out of there through that hole in the fence and ran like jack rabbits. We never looked back.

We both heard a loud mechanical scream like a rocket or jet behind us, but god only knows what it was. We just jumped into the truck and hauled it home as quick as possible.

We could see the thing following behind us at some distance as we crossed the desert and arrived home. It was still off to the west as I we went into the house.

Things seemed alright for the first few days but now I see black helicopters flying above me wherever I go. Alex says the same thing is happening to him.

I know he’s right because we have two black unmarked helicopters hovering over us at work right now as I write this to you. The funny thing is that they are completely silent. What the hell?

I have no idea what the hell we have done or if we are in some sort of trouble. The fence had signs on it of course about trespassing on federal land but as you have told more than once, “that’s just for show and nothing to worry about.”

What the hell am I in for Chuck? Do you have any ideas or suggestions short of heading off to Mexico?

Your pal, Tommy.

This is basically the letter that I wrote to the husband of my wife’s friend via an email.

We are not close friends and we don’t see each other often. But as I heard it, this letter sent him into a panic of some sort. He thought that his computer had been hacked as that is where his stories of this family are kept along with all of his banking and business information.

His wife finally calmed him down and told him that I had sent the letter. He was relieved to hear that of course. He has never mentioned the letter or how he felt about it when we have been together.

I guess it’s just his secret and mine.

I meant no harm. I just thought it was a fun story that he might enjoy. I created more of a reaction that I had bargained for.